I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me and I have some weird subconscious teacher-student sexual fantasy lurking somewhere in the deep recesses of my skull, 'cause now I'm finding myself occasionally jonesing for a quick jump in the lap of yet ANOTHER instructor (or sometimes just to pet his head like a little puppy). Not *all* the time. But every once in a while. AND I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHY.

First it was The Bane of My Existence, and now this. What in god's name is the matter with me?

The weird thing is I've never *ever* been one of those folks who gets fiendish crushes on their teachers--not in high school, not in college, not in grad school.

Perhaps I've just acquired a taste for the sexy bite of brilliantly intelligent, strong men? (I suppose this wouldn't be that much of a newly-acquired taste though, since those're the kinds of folks I've *always* been attracted to.)

Perhaps I'm weirdly attracted to the brisk, anal-retentive, cut and dry, authoritative nature of folks because it leaves me intrigued about the soft spots that must be lying somewhere underneath it all, especially when they occasionally give a brief glimpse of these soft spots through little glitches of insecurities and/or weaknesses? Perhaps this is attractive to me because I do the same kind of things, so I'd like to think that there is, in fact, a good and beautiful person underneath it all?

Perhaps I am attracted to them because they offer up a hard-headed challenge to me and there's something extremely erotic in the idea of making someone who appears so strong and powerful bow down submissively before me?

Either that or I'm suddenly just becoming masochistically attracted to people whose personalities run completely counter to my own and who I'm torn between hating and wanting to lick.

I'm starting to think the latter may be true. Which is bizarre and disturbing but actually explains a whole helluva lot.