Inappropriate!

I've been lax at posting here over the past week, mainly because I've been out of town, and when I have been in town, I've been busy studying my ass off for two quizzes this week. But I'm back. At least for a brief verbal jaunt.

Last Wednesday, we learned how to give chair massages in my Massage II class. Our instructor played a video and we followed along, using the techniques demonstrated to give our partner a massage.

Problem #1 with the video: the massage therapist in the video was *gross* as all get-out--I noticed this during the second run... He had immensely hairy arms, and he had like two or three disgustingly red open sores on his arms and the back of his hands. Exactly the kind of massage therapist I want fondling me!

Problem #2: Sometimes the MT would tell us to do a certain stroke *AND THEN WOULDN'T DO IT.* Other times, he breezed through stuff at super-human speeds, so it was difficult to keep up.

So when T____ (my partner) was practicing on me, at one point she found herself falling significantly behind the pacing of the video--she was still working on my hands and he was already back up to the shoulders. "Oh crap," she muttered. "He's going way too fast. I'm just gonna have to give you a quickie."

The last sentence, like all inappropriate sentences, managed to be blurted loudly into a black-hole of quiet that of course had suddenly filled the room. I popped my head out of the face-rest to stare at her, and T____ looked at me with an expression of shocked horror, and then we of course both started giggling with that slap-happy mania that comes with sitting through 6 hours of class on a workday, the 10pm hour quickly slipping up on your tired and cracked-out brain. We laughed uncontrollably for like five minutes--thankfully the Massage Nazi had stepped out of the room, otherwise we would've been up shit creek.

As we left, I was tempted to shout down the hallway at her, "Thanks for the quickie, T____!" But I suspect she would have been mortified. And plus, she never did follow through on her proposition...

*SIGH*