Raptors and Dali

Sometimes classes are just so surreal that they are worthy of their own Dali painting, spattered with ants and really long stretched-out boobs.

Last night was one of those.

My anatomy class is not getting any better. It still feels like it's being taught by someone who picked up the textbook about 30 minutes before class and has no clue WTF is going on.

Frequent quotes: "What page is that on? Does anyone know?" and "Yeah, I'm not really sure whether you need to know that or not."

Awesome.

Last night topped it all though. I managed to get stuck in just *RIDICULOUS* amounts of traffic. Probably the most I've seen in years. End result: I was 30 minutes late for class. When I got there, only two students had shown up, one of which gave me the most "Thank you god, I was about to start crying from the thought of having to endure two hours of this with only one other person as buffer" look I've ever seen. Thirty minutes late and apparently they hadn't even started.

Commence the lecture, which (as always) consists of our instructor bumbling around in the book, reading stuff directly from it (but somehow still managing to read it incorrectly so that she's accidentally teaching us the wrong things), and pointing at various diagrams in the book because apparently it is too much trouble to make overheads and apparently we are back in preschool with "One fish, two fish," our instructor reading and then showing us pictures and then reading and then showing us pictures.

As I near my breaking point, I try to distract myself from the furious anger whelling up inside me. I notice that the weird girl in class who sits without shoes or socks on in the middle of winter and who asks 1800-thousand questions constantly is sans shoes again. Our instructor comes over to show us a picture of something that she thinks we might need to know, but then again, maybe not. She is pointing at the picture in our textbook, and Weird Girl cocks her head back and gazes at it through the bottom of her eyes with her mouth wide open, inhaling and exhaling and inhaling and exhaling through it with a rattle that (accompanied with her awkwardly tall and skinny body) sounds startlingly like a raptor from Jurassic part, so much so that I prepare to start running and hide in some cabinet when she finally leaps up on the desks and starts hunting us. She clicks and rattles through her mouth until I am about ready to scream and rip off my scrubs and run around the room laughing maniacally because it is just so creepy and gross and somehow symbolic of how this class makes me feel itchy and insane and then, peace be to jesus, the class ends.

But not before this little gem:

HER: "Well, we didn't get to the blood-vessel stuff. So maybe I can just go over that next week right before the exam for you all?"
ME: "So will it BE on the exam then?"
HER: "Well, yes. I mean, if that's ok with everyone."
ME: "WTF, you motherf-ing ho-bag?!?! Seriously?!?! You're gonna go over it the DAY OF the exam and then test us on it five minutes later??? That's quality learning. Oh yes." ('Cept I didn't actually say that. I just thought it really really loud. While thinking about raptors.)