Hurray! Yours Truly Pops Her Cherry on the "Happy Endings" Front

[A man leaves a message on my cell-phone about scheduling a massage. I call him back later in the day.]

MAN: Hello?

ME: Hi, is this D?

MAN: Yes, it is.

ME: Hi, I was returning your call about setting up a massage appointment?

MAN: Oh! Ok! Yes.

ME: Actually, I'm in my last semester of school right now, so I don't have any time to take appointments, but in June I may be able to start taking appointments again.

MAN: Oh really? Oh.

ME: Yeah, sorry about that. I can hang onto your number though and call you back perhaps sometime later in June.

MAN: Yeah, that would be great. Can I ask you a few questions first?

ME: Sure thing.

MAN: What kind of massage do you do?

ME: (I already can tell where this is going) Well, right now, since I'm not yet certified, I am only able to do relaxation massages, no therapeutic massages.

MAN: Oh. Ok. Um, do you do... "sensual" massages?

ME: No, I do not.

MAN: Oh. Ok. Um, what do you charge for your massages?

ME: (a bit flabbergasted that he still thinks I'm actually gonna set up a home-appointment with him if he inquired about pervy massages) Right now, $40 for an hour, $60 for 90 minutes. That will no doubt change once I'm certified though.

MAN: Oh. Ok. That sounds reasonable. (pause) I guess that's everything I wanted to know.

ME: Okey-doke.

MAN: Yeah, so that'd be great if you could give me a call back in June or whenever and we can set something up.

ME: I'll do that. (Thinking: I am so totally not doing that.)

MAN: Excellent. Thanks!

ME: You're welcome.

MAN: Bye.

ME: Bye, you pervy perv-hole.