The Twilight Zone (Episode #314)

Just when I start to think that my ethics class couldn't get any worse...

A good chunk of time during the first half of my Ethics class last Thursday is spent with me trying to explain to the woman next to me what a "boner" is.

Then our instructor gives us the assignment of thinking up "ethical" issues that are important to us so that we could discuss them in class after break.

Ethical issues that fellow students came up with:

• The ethical issue of small people--
  "I have a problem with small people... You know, like, small people who have big mouths."



• The ethical issue of stupid people--
  "I hate stupid people." (This was actually the "ethical issue" my instructor contributed to the class.)



• The ethical issue of people who think they're better than everyone else.



• The ethical issue of Canadian people:
  Student #1: Canadian people are all so very very nice, you know?
  Student #2: Unless you're dealing with French Canadians. And that's a stereotype anyways, you know, that all Canadians are nice. [Not realizing he just stereotyped all French Canadians as assholes two seconds prior.]



• The ethical issue of George W.



• The ethical issue of homeless people--otherwise known as the ethical issue of rich people who go around pretending to be homeless so that they can get more wealth and how *they* apparently represent the common problem that is homelessness.



• The ethical issue of bringing your dog into the grocery store with you.

Ethical issues discussed prior to class:

• The ethical issue of whether pickles are good.



• The ethical issue of whether olives are good.

Meanwhile, as all of this takes place, I watch in awe as the girl sitting next to me very meticulously and studiously reads and highlights *EVERY SINGLE WORD* of *EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE* on two pages worth of our ethics book.

I reach out and feel my face and it feels fine. Then suddenly the group of surgeons surrounding my seat wheels around to look at me, and they *ALL HAVE DEFORMED PIG FACES!*

Doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo.