You Can Call Me God

Yesterday, we learned in massage class that there is an area that we spend time massaging on the neck during our massage routine that could literally kill our clients if done incorrectly. According to our instructor, 95% of the time, in a typical massage routine on the neck, you won't do any accidental damage to this specific area. My brain promptly started whirring and chucking, immediately translating that statistic into its more mindblowing counterpart--this also means that there's a 5% chance that you'll kill the person you're working on when working in this area.* That means, ladies and gents, if I massage you 20 times in the next few years or so, one of those times YOU WILL END UP DEAD.

I don't know if the nervousness I felt inside upon hearing this was born out of terror or the giddiness I now feel in the face of such power (*cackling maniacally and rubbing hands together*).



----------
* Imagine finding this out right before an inept fellow student (or your own inept self, for that matter) is about to start massaging that area. I kept feeling my windpipe close up for the next ten minutes and found myself thinking over and over about how the last thing I was ever gonna see was one of those shitty vcr/television units (with the obligatory limping wheel) that they wheel around from classroom from classroom. *Sniffle*
** I also suspect that TELLING people this information over and over is gonna be REALLY helpful in me building up a clientele.