The Things You Will Do

1. Remember how you spent forever and ever and ever going over the use of friction on edema last week and how your instructor said, in his thick Russian accent, "If you get this wrong on final, *YOU WILL DIE*?" You will get EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE QUESTIONS WRONG.

2. In quiet desperation, you will begin hacking on a woman's butt after several attempts at trying to remember what part of the leg the "hamstring" is on.

3. The woman who massages you will somehow manage to yank out at least a couple of your pubic hairs.