My New Theory

So I have a new theory. It came to me as I was driving home from Massage II class last night:

The way a person massages = their personality in the sack.

Hear me out. This is either gonna sound far-fetched or, conversely, like I'm over-stating the obvious. I haven't quite decided which is more likely at this point though. So bear with.

As it bothers me a bit that I've started kinda sexualizing a specific individual's touch in my Mass. II class this semester, I was giving it more thought on my way home last night.

We're told bluntly and honestly from the very beginning that it is not abnormal nor is it unusual for a client to be sexually attracted to a therapist or vice versa. (I try to find a bit of solace in this fact.) Touch is so majorly a part of intimacy and sex that it only makes sense that being massaged by someone while you're laid out nekkid on a table might mistakenly become sexually charged.

But why is it that only the touch of certain folks has that electrical jolt to it?

Not once, in all my previous massage experiences, have a felt a goddamn thing sexually when it comes to getting a massage.

Now this semester, totally different story.

Why why why?

Herein lies my theory.

Perhaps the reason certain folks' touch becomes sexualized to us in the context of massage while others' do not is not because of any complicated sexual awakening of feelings towards them (which wouldn't make that much sense seeing as, in most cases, you know not a thing about the person, other than what they look like--and that fact doesn't necessarily match up with the charge you may feel) but because we perceive and link the way they move, the way they touch, their rhythms, etc., to the way they would be in the sack.

Oversimplified? Maybe. Far-fetched? Perhaps.

But it kinda makes sense as well. If touch and sex are so interwoven in so many ways, then why would we NOT (consciously or subconsciously) make this connection between how a person touches in massage and how they'd touch in the sack?

Case in point: my massage instructor from last semester. The man lays into you immediately and (almost unbearably) forcefully without any build-up. He is a Russian fellow, and he massages with all the brute force you'd expect from a burly Russian man. But there doesn't seem to be that much gentleness or careful consideration for the body as some people have. I'm sure it's there, but it's there in a not-so-obvious way. When he massages, it moreso feels like he's barging in on your body than working up to the force with which he is handling you.

I felt not the slightly twinge of eroticization (is that a word?) when I got massaged by him.

This semester: a completely different story:

_____'s hands are all, like, gentle sweet talk and sidelong glances with the occasional winked innuendo tossed in your muscle's direction, and then suddenly it's WAPPAMMMM and that muscle's pinned down and writhing, squirming gleefully underneath his hands, completely at his will, putting up an energetic, feisty, but only half-hearted fight to come out on top despite the fact that you know it's TOTALLY enjoying it and a minute or two from now will be more than happy to chill out, lay back, and let him do whatever he damn well pleases to it, and It. Will. Love. Every. Fricking. Minute. Of. It.

Yes.

And apparently I'm all about that.

Granted, a lot of your massage technique has to do with what you've learned and being able to do what you've learned accurately. But the other half of the massage is more artwork--each person is completely different. No two touches are the same. And you work your magic in such a way that your body sings it out. Your massage has its own personality, and that's something that you won't be able to change much about. And, just like with sex, not only the client but you as a massage therapist may find yourself excited and spent once it's all over with (my experience with Big Blond Stoner Boy being a perfect example).

I think about some of the other folks in the class too, and it gets me thinking about the general trend of touch in there: the guys are almost always more forceful and assertive (though some of them rather clumsily so) while the majority of women in there err on the side of being too gentle and not aggressive enough. Also intriguing, no? I'd suspect that almost every one of the way-too-light massage therapists in there probably are the more subservient types in the sack--they like (or dislike, but still choose) to just lie back and let the other person be in charge. They're not assertive, and they don't demand to be pleased the way they deserve to be.

Then you've got me--I am bossy and forceful when it comes to massaging. At first I erred on the part of being too gentle in class, but lately, I've been feeling like I'm growing into my massage finally, now that I know that, even if I put all my force into it, chances are I'm not gonna hurt someone. I feel like I'm coming into my own, finding my technique, and I'm really starting to enjoy myself now. I've been told I have very strong hands on several occasions, and I chalk that up to a compliment, seeing as way too many women that have massaged me have featherweight touches. I'm very much assertive nowadays, and I like to feel like I'm in charge. I like and want your muscles to melt underneath my touch. Even when I don't know *what* the hell I'm doing sometimes, I do it self-assuredly in the hope that it'll at least convince the person I'm massaging that I know what's going on. (Not to mention that I like to find tender spots and make people scream as I work the shit out of them until they're singing in joyous ecstasy--a bit of the S&Mer in me, perhaps.)

And yeah, you can make the leap here, and (unless someone would like to argue, or unless someone would like to find out for themselves and *then* argue) it'd be a fairly accurate one.

Perhaps this connection is so obvious that it doesn't require me even remarking upon it. Perhaps it only just makes sense. And perhaps it's not so much the connection between massage and sex as it is massage and personality (which is then reflected in how a person is in the sack). But whatever which way, it's totally fascinating to me.

And needless to say, I am the BEST MASSAGE YOU'LL EVER HAVE.