Ah, Start of the Fresh Semester...

How you smell like stink-ass motherf-ing manure--let us only hope you nurture the growth of all that is planted in you.

Wow. That sounded way nicer than I feel at the moment.

So yeah. Am I about to kill someone soon? Yes.

Will it be you? No.

Will it be the administration at my school? Uh, fuck yeah.

Apparently things are going haywire in the Land of Massage Therapy.

Last Tuesday I got a call that our business class had been switched from Tuesday nights, 6-9pm, to Wednesday nights, 7-10pm. Kind of a stupid time since I won't be able to come straight from work, but no major skin off my back.

Friday morning, I got a call that our Monday-night A&P class has been cancelled. Which means I have to take it the only other time offered: 8:30am - 12:30pm on Tuesdays. Which means my work schedule is gonna look silly-ass ridiculous: 6:30am to 8am, 1pm to 8pm on Tuesdays. Which also means my friend R___ (who was also signed up for this night class) is no doubt shitting in his Crocs right now since he had his state-board classes scheduled for--you guessed it--Tuesday morning/afternoon.

And then today I emailed some woman in financial aid for about the 15th time to find out about a tuition-waiver in the amount of $700 I was told about when I first toured the school--one which students receive if they maintain a certain grade-point average through (I believe) the fourth semester of their second year.

The response:

"I don't recollect us having anything like that, though perhaps I could be wrong. Do you have any paperwork about it from when you were given that information?"

Um, no.

"Yeah, I really don't think we offer anything like that."

Apparently the administration at my school is the equivalent of my sheister mechanics at Midas:

"We have to replace your tie-rod."

Um, I just had it replaced less than a year ago.

"Really? Which one?"

The left front one.

"Oh, yeah. Uh, this is the right front one."

Uh huh. And my left nipple's name is Robert.

Next Semester's Class Schedule

• A&P IV: Mondays, 6-10pm
  
  (This is my last A&P class, woot woot! I may be switching to the day class though, if my crazy, useless instructor from this semester IS, in fact, teaching the night-class next semester--I don't think I can bear four hours of her.)



• Business: Tuesdays, 6-9pm (blorf)



• Clinic Rotation: Saturdays, 9am-1pm

Back to class: mixed blessing. My evenings were starting to get a bit boring and I was getting a bit funktified due to my lack of energy and my desire to do nothing but watch television. I am not a freakishly huge television junkie or anything--but when you're kinda going non-stop all semester and finally have two weeks to do absolutely nothing, it is difficult to get yourself psyched up enough to do constructive things like read and knit and carve sculptures of your family out of soap when ALL YOU DO ALL SEMESTER LONG IS BE F-ING CONSTRUCTIVE. So yeah. Television. Somehow that became the unhealthy solution. It is kinda sick when you actually find yourself a bit happy to be back in the insanity that is full-time school and work.

This week is our last week before finals, so only a week and a half more of classes this semester and I'll be all done with my first year.

How fucked up is that?

The double-edged sword that is next semester:

As I mentioned before, they may cancel our A&P night-class next semester which would make my work schedule the most f-ed up work schedule ever. Right now, we're all on the edge of our seats waiting to see what happens.

I'm leaning towards the hope that the evening class does pan out, though both the evening and day class have big big positives and big big negatives...

THE DAY CLASS:

• Taught by my current A&P instructor whom I've grown fond of;


• Taught by my current A&P instructor who has succeeded in giving us all a wicked batch of carpal tunnel due to the rabid quantity of notes we take nightly in class;


• Class is from 8:30 am to 2:30 pm on a Tuesday which is like a big flatulent wad of shit dumped into the middle of my work day;


• This would also mean 5 hours in a row (compared to our current 3) of excruciating cramping of the wrist.

THE NIGHT CLASS:

• It's at the usual time which is much better for my schedule but...


• It's also taught by The Bane of My Existence, which is its own double-edged sword--it would mean that I get to fantasize about making him get on his hands and knees and beg all semester, but it also means having to deal with his HUGELY irritating animal-torturing instructor-comedian persona;


• I'd actually kinda miss my current instructor who, as I've mentioned, has grown on me.

So it looks like fate will be the deciding factor.

I DID have a dream about The Bane of My Existence though last night, so maybe that's some sorta harbinger. He just smiled at me and never said a word. Exactly the way I'd like him to be all the time, particularly when bent over in front of me and my spike-heeled boots.

Two Things

My schedule next semester:

• Monday: Anatomy 6-8pm


• Tuesday: Physiology 6-9pm


• Wednesday: Psychology of Health 6-8pm


• March 2-4 (Friday--6-10pm, Saturday 9-5:30, Sunday 9-5:30): Neuromuscular Therapy Seminar, Part I


• March 16-18 (Friday--6-10pm, Saturday 9-5:30, Sunday 9-5:30): Neuromuscular Therapy Seminar, Part II

I am a bit paranoid about my schedule because as of right now, not very many people have signed up for the evening A&P classes. If 10 people don't sign up, I'm gonna have to take the day class instead, which means the most pain-in-the-ass fucked up work schedule ever, as the class runs from 8:30am to 2:30pm on Tuesdays. Good news if the class ISN'T cancelled: The Bane of My Existence is teaching it. *Conflicted sigh*

Oh, and ps. My A&P instructor touched my ass-dimples last night. I am sure glad I wasn't wearing my laundry-day granny-panties. =)

Wanna Be My Sugar-Daddy?

Yes yes yes. I haven't blogged here in almost two weeks. I should be drawn and quartered. Blah dee blah.

It's been busy, what can I say? This week was chock full of quizzes (sometimes even two in one evening). And scheduling scheduling scheduling.

But here's the skinny on what I've been learning, in case you've been crying yourself to sleep every night not knowing...

Last week I learned about hydrotherapy in Massage II class. I got to freeze the calf of my partner with a frozen styrofoam cup until she couldn't feel anymore. Sometimes learning massage seems more like a bizarre lesson in S&M than a therapeutic modality.

I also got my feet frozen, learning that, yes, indeed, the stages of cold ARE in fact: 1. the sensation of cold, 2. exquisite mother-fing goddamn holy crap pain and burning, and 3. numbness. Unfortunately, Stage 2 lasts quite some time, especially in the tender parts of your feet. They DID get so numb though that my partner could run her fingernail up and down them and I couldn't feel a goddamn thing.

This week, we had a brief introduction to lymphatic massage--it is an absolutely fascinating technique because the pressure you use as a massage therapist is equivalent to the pressure a nickel exerts on your skin if you were to set one on your arm. It is bizarrely light and when you're performing it, it seems to be an absolute impossibility that the movements could be having *any* effect on the system, and yet, it helps to completely detoxify the whole body and gives the recipient a generalized sense of euphoria if done correctly. It's also been known to make folks look years younger if done on a regular basis, particularly on the face. It requires an obscene amount of patience though because the massage strokes are so very slight. My massage instructor used me to demonstrate the neck lymphatic massage on yesterday, and I do admit, my neck felt delightful this morning when I woke up.

In other news, I was told yesterday by the individual I was massaging that "I have very strong hands." *Snapping my enemies in two with my bare hands and picking up large boulders to throw at people just for fun*

Classes classes and more classes next quarter with an even more pain-in-the-ass schedule, especially for winter:

• Physiology II--Mondays, 6-9pm


• Anatomy II--Tuesdays, 6-9pm


• Massage III--Thursdays 6-10pm

I really need to get me a sugar-daddy (or sugar-momma, for that matter) so that I can quit work and devote all my time to studying and massage. *sigh*

I realize that I haven't blogged here in over a week. Shame on me! Shame on me! *Bending over for a spanking*

Truth be told, I haven't had much massage-related to blog about. Our Massage I instructor let us out 2 and 1/2 hours early last Wednesday, bless his big Russian heart, so I have no masso-erotic experiences to relay to you. Perhaps tonight will change that though. *Fingers crossed*

In my Monday Anatomy class, however, I did learn about an Australian desert rat that is so bad-ass that it receives its daily water-intake by sucking the blood of other animals, and instead of pissing, it expels kidney stones to get rid of its wastes.

My class schedule next semester:

Mondays:
Anatomy: 6-8pm
Physiology: 8-10pm

Wednesdays:
Clinical Rotation: 3:30-5:30pm
Massage II: 6-10pm

My friend D's encouraging words about said class schedule:

"sounds do-able, but it's still a lot
don't get mono or something"