Ugh Finals

Ain't nothing better than going into finals feeling sorely unprepared because your instructor is a lazy-ass motherfuck who apparently likes the whole "making money" thing but doesn't like "doing the actual work" in return.

If nothing else, I can at least come out of all this saying that, this weekend, I had an "erection" on my roof, and I had to rescue a baby inch-worm with it, and for a while, I left the "erection" on my roof, but later in the day I noticed it had fallen off and was sitting in our garden.

True story.

GO ERECTIONS!

And the Point of This Lecture Was...?

Yesterday, in the middle of our instructor's whopping 45 minutes worth of lecture in 4-hours worth of class (he speculated not even 10 minutes into class--and at a point when it hadn't even actually STARTED raining--that he would probably let us go early because of the rain), he shared with us a bit of information about how you can test whether a person's fluid-levels are ok by pushing on their skin and seeing how long it takes to pop back into place. And then he shared with us this little gem:

INSTRUCTOR FROM CRAPTOWN (IFC): Also, did you know that your fingernails can tell you about certain types of deficiencies in your body?

[He waves his hands in the air]

IFC: Some people have vertical ridges in their nails...

[He walks up to someone and examines their fingernails]

IFC: Nah, you don't have any. Well, some people have vertical ridges, some people have horizontal ridges, and some people have those white spots under their fingernails. Anybody have those?

[He looks around the room]

IFC: Well, ok. I guess not. But anyways, they signify certain types of nutritional deficiencies. Like if you have the vertical ridges, it means you have a certain type of deficiency. And if you have the horizontal, it means you have a different type of deficiency. I'm not exactly sure *what* deficiencies, but yeah. They can show, um, certain types of, um, deficiencies.

*ROUSING ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR A LENGTHY LECTURE THAT APPEARED TO BE LEADING TOWARDS SOME SORT OF FACTUAL CLARITY BUT SURPRISED EVERYONE WITH ITS SUDDEN TWIST-ENDING*

Yesterday

Yesterday, Instructor from Craptown spent 10 minutes talking about a patient who had her labia grafted onto her face to replace her missing lips that were damaged in a terrible car accident. We are learning about the digestive system. Thus, this was the utmost in relevance.

Yesterday, 1/3 of the class didn't show up. About 10 minutes into a class that started 40 minutes late (yet again), half the remaining class got up and left out of disgust to go study in the cafeteria instead.

Yesterday, I realized I have a bit of a girl-crush on a girl in my class. I get girl-crushes very very rarely (it's about as regular as eclipses), and right now I'm still trying to decide if I dig her because I want to *be* her or if I dig her because she is badass and I wanna get wit that.

Yesterday, Instructor from Craptown left once in the middle of class because he hadn't brought an old phys test with him that we needed to get back to study for the upcoming midterm. Then he left again because he'd not realized we had an Anatomy test scheduled for yesterday and needed to go look for the tests. And then he left to run our bubble-tests through the machine that scores them. And then he realized that it had scored them all incorrectly because he had told us to fill in the bubble for Form B when we should've filled it in for Form A. Then we went over the test to try to figure out the correct answers. And then he handed the tests back to us to grade manually and we went over the test AGAIN to grade them (because apparently it didn't make sense to combine these two events so as to not waste more time). And then we went over the test one last time for reasons unknown. And then he left again because he hadn't brough an old anatomy test with him that we needed to get back to study for the upcoming midterm. Time spent reviewing for the anatomy midterm next week: 0.

Yesterday, as everyone was flipping out in class and going off about Instructor from Craptown, I got asked how I stay so completely zen in the face of all the irritating madness. "Drugs," I said. "Lots and lots of drugs."

I haven't been blogging much about school this semester. It's partially because I've been on break the past two weeks. And it's also partially because I am becoming increasingly disgruntled and disgusted with both my school and my A&P IV class, and I'd rather just avoid thinking about either/or whenever possible.

I mean, when your instructor takes a call in the middle of class on his cell phone, *telling everyone afterwards, "I don't even know who the hell that was,"* when his basic means of teaching is to say "You'll need to know this for the test" without ever EXPLAINING the ideas behind that which we need to know (which, I dunno maybe it's just crazy talk but, seems to me to be the JOB of the f-ing instructor), when your instructor typically starts class 30 to 45 minutes late and then let's the class go 30-45 minutes early, and when your instructor approaches the learning of the muscles of the face by saying "Yeah, I dunno. It seems kind of pointless for me to go over all these since it's basically just rote memorization that you could do on your own" and then proceeds instead to talk about how best to beat the stock market for 15 minutes, it's a bit difficult not to feel yourself filling up with a ridiculously insatiable rage.

And you know it's particularly bad when you're in a conversation with an instructor at your school (in this case, Chiroman) in which you're both just totally going off on the school and (in your case) on your new instructor, and he actually says to you, "Damn. If I was in your situation, I'd just clock in and go sit in the student lounge for the 4 hours of class and learn it on my own," and you realize he's probably right. And this coming from an *INSTRUCTOR*.